Been There Done That.

This is me as a tween and a teen.  First things first it was really cool to be that tan, and am I wearing the same necklace in both pictures?  It must have been really special and apparently some things never change because I really do love a good V-neck sweater!! WOW!Let's talk about parenting our girls shall we?The other night my daughter stood in the family room venting about her day and said, "You don't even get it! Imagine if you were me!"I had to stop her and go on a mom rant for just a nano second. " Oh, I don't need to imagine!" I laughed, "I have BEEN you!  I get it baby, I totally get it!" The look on her face seemed to say "I HEAR what you are saying but since you were actually born in the 1820's with no technology to speak of…. Yeah….. NO, you don't "GET IT!!!"WE MY FRIENDS ARE EXPERTS, HIGHLY COMPETENT, AND DARE I SAY OVER-QUALIFIED CANDIDATES FOR THIS JOB!If you have a tween or teenage daughter, don't let them convince you otherwise. No doubt parenting your daughter can be a challenge, but no challenge you yourself haven't been up against. Consider your resume if you will:You have actually been a teenage girl.You have been 10,11,12 even 13,14 and 15.  Yes,16 and 17 and even 18.You have experienced ( and survived!) lunch room drama, mean girls, disappointment and gossip.Puppy love, hormones and heartbreaks.Peer pressure, scholastic stress, acne and yes, "That time of the month."Your experience makes you wise and competent.When I encounter a bump in the road with my girls, there is an initial sense of panic because I want them to be happy and care free and of course I don't like to see them in despair. My natural reaction is to say, "I don't know what to do here!" But then I stop and think, "Wait just a minute, I have been here before!"  What worked for me? Perhaps just a hug or some cookies. Shopping? Space?  Maybe even tough love and some firm boundaries.  Something more serious may have been in order like a conference or serious phone call? Counseling? Prayer? I examine my well spring of data and adapt it for each particular child.  I think about what worked for me growing up and what did not work  for me growing up. ( I have an awesome mom by the way who did all this and more!)What do I wish someone had done/or not done for me.My circumstances may have been a bit different ( but I doubt much)  and chances are the solutions are similar, at my fingertips and on the tip of my tongue.  In the book of Ecclesiastes  King Solomon searches for meaning in life and says this:That which has been is what will bethat which is done is what will be doneAnd there is nothing new under the sunA commentary I found on this passage shed this encouraging light:  What really changes, communication or just the methods and speed? Illness or just diagnosis and treatment? Does money change or just the form they use and the systems. Relationships ,Politics, Sin, Do not confuse methods with essence. It is what it is. whatever seems to be new, has been around for ages.You have the answers and the solutions your daughter needs. You are who and what she needs. You are enough!Your List of references and colleagues is impressive and valuable.We all  had parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, girlfriends and teachers. Maybe not all were great but their past and present influence in our lives have allowed us access to information and knowledge to drawn from. Good or bad. Our husbands are a huge resource to round us out too,  After all he was a teenage boy ( another blog) and can offer major insight.Your work ethic is off the charts!If only we clocked in and clocked out….And if you are like me, you will stop at nothing to ensure the happiness of your family and you work 24/7 doing just that. On top of all of this deep rich life experience you possess, You have the God of the universe on your side.He declares that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.And that with God on our side no one can stand against us.We are commanded to comfort others with the comfort we have received from God.He promised to never leave us or forsake us.This is  all such good new to my ears and super encouraging. Parenting is difficult and we can be hard on ourselves too.  We doubt and second guess and at times wonder if we are even making a difference at all and  it can be  a thankless job. Just remember when those beauties of your's look at you as if you don't "Get it!" Let them roll their eyes and be disgusted. The important thing to know is that you were trained and hired  by God to do this job and you are more than qualified!