Pretty Little Lies
A few weeks back I went to a conference. I am feeling good about myself lately, having lost 7 of the twenty pounds I gained during my daughter's time of serious illness. 7 feels good even when it is a drop in the bucket. Some people stress eat or stress forget to eat but I have come to the realization that my body "stress stores" It shuts down the furnace, fearing oncoming traumas like a bear in the winter! Nevertheless, I have quite literally worked my tail off to burn these 7 pounds, and 7 has me feeling good!
Cute hair? Check!
New outfits? Check!
Confidence? Check????
I put on my favorite new outfit, heels, and jewelry and went to the first evening's meet and greet. Upon arrival, my stomach dropped as I realized my cute outfits all of the sudden seemed a bit "mom-ish" My heels did not seem high enough, and apparently, I did not get the memo about the spray tan and cute orange top. I instantly felt inferior. INSTANTLY! This is not the only venue where this phenomenon takes place, and I dare say I am not alone.
It could be the gym, a party, PTA, or even church. I think many of us engage in this little game of comparison as we struggle to find our place and rank among our peers, and we start to believe lies. Why can I feel so great about myself when I look in the mirror, content with my imperfect truth staring back at me? I know what I see, and I say to myself. "You look good for 44 and even better for having 4 (LARGE) children! You are funny, talented, and awesome, and of course, the Bible says I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Then.....BOOM! Someone better looking, skinnier, funnier, hipper, and more talented enters the room and all my "truths" go out the window in an instant. Try as I might to recall them and frantically chant them, they scamper out of my head like roaches fleeing the light. And there I stand, unworthy and believing the lies the enemy whispers in my ear. I remember how my own mom would marvel at this concept when I was a teen, how she could spend all her parenting years instilling self-esteem in her children, and then one boy, or a group of mean girls, could leave me feeling reduced to nothing with a few lies. She would pour the truth on thick as if to wash off the lies with a fire hose. It is what I do for my children when they believe lies about themselves. It is what we should do for ourselves. The truth is both that we will never be enough in our own strength and that we are already perfect in God's eyes. There will always be someone who is seemingly better than us, and there is plenty of evidence to back that up. Our internal dialogue needs to come from a place of God's truth. Starting with what you know to be true about yourself. Look in the Bible if you never have and read what God has to say. Even ask Him what He thinks. Do not listen to the lies that come at you from every direction, sometimes internally and externally. Shut them out. Bathe in the truth. I am imperfectly perfect, just the way God made me. I came home, and my girls asked me how it went. I enthusiastically shared with them about my failed success in the area of self-esteem. I share my struggles with my girls as often as I can. I want them to know a few things. I struggle too, even at my age, and the enemy is not very creative. There is nothing new under the sun. You are not alone, and your struggles are common ones. We are in this together. My sweet tall beauties chimed in together to build me up and wash me clean!"Mommy, you are super cute and talented, and you know it. Who cares what those people wear or think? Plus, they are probably totally unhappy and hungry." We laughed. Another lie exposed!
My Children ARE listening!
I am grateful for their encouragement and truthful words. Funny how they are now giving me the advice I give them. Perhaps the victory is in the fact that each generation of women in my family is recognizing the lies of the enemy earlier and earlier, exposing them for what they are and combatting them with the truth.
1 Samuel 16:7 For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”Psalms 34:5 Those who look to him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.