This is Us
Have you been watching “This Is Us”? It’s the new Parenthood, and It came along just in the nick of time! I was feeling such a loss without the Braverman Family. (You should binge-watch them both over Spring Break!) I wasn’t sure at first if the Pearsons from This Is Us, could replace the Bravermans from Parenthood, but they are doing a fine job so far.
What is it about these stories that get us on the edge of our seat with a tissue box in hand, rooting for basic strangers? Watch long enough and that’s just it, they don't feel like strangers, they feel more like a family that you want to be a part of.
I believe that deep inside us all, there is a desire for unconditional love, to be valued despite our shortcomings, and to gain acceptance at face value. We find in these TV characters, the combination of strong wills, personal turmoil, and relational strain, all trumped by the fierce loyalty and the unconditional love of a tight-knit family. And it works.
I remember one weekend last fall, my whole family seemed on edge, stressed, and stretched to their limit. There were big work decisions to be made, disappointments at school, struggles with friends, and a whole lot of sass, but we came together as we do, to watch my son’s last football game of the season.
We laid aside all of our issues, (that I could feel oozing out of our pores.) as we filed into the stadium seats one by one. It was a tough game that ended in a tough loss and as I got in the car with my son I could feel the heaviness of his heart. His burden became mine. (I‘ve heard it said, “You are only as happy as your saddest child.” It’s true.)
He had such high hopes for the season that ended so abruptly; the games the practices, the camaraderie, now over. Though he didn’t say it, and maybe couldn’t even express it, I knew all of that was weighing on his little heart.
Then there were tears.
His…. then of course… mine. I quickly texted my girls who had gone home in another car.“Are you home? We have tears! Someone order pizza!”
When we arrived home my son flopped all arms and legs with a disappointed sigh onto the couch. I sat on the floor next to him with the girls next to me, close and tight, touching some part of his body but saying nothing at all. Like the way, you swaddle a baby, tight in a blanket so they feel secure. Emotional swaddling? Is that even a thing? It is now!
We emotionally swaddled him.
I know what you are thinking, and yes, we ran the risk of his grumbling complaining, and yelling, “Leave me alone!” “ Don’t touch me!” and storming off. That has happened before but I took the risk anyway.
ALWAYS TAKE THE RISK!
Still with a heavy heart, he finally said, “This is like a little circle of love.” My husband came in just in time to answer the door for the pizza man who looked puzzled as to why these large people in such a large house, were in a little huddle in the family room. We ate in silence until my daughter said, “I love us.” and my son replied, “Me too”.And…. scene!
Friends, make your home a safe place to land where you love your people hard!
Until the pain goes away.
Until they laugh through the tears.
Until they fall asleep.
just until.
This is our job, our calling, and our life’s work. You are to create a masterpiece on this canvas. It doesn’t happen overnight,
(perhaps you have damaged your relationship with a loved one. Ask God to help you repair it with forgiveness and the absence of harsh words.)
Begin weaving little moments together, purposely building trust and unity to create a large safety net under your family to catch them when they fall, where they experience unconditional love over and over again until they know they can free-fall into it. Then perhaps they won’t storm off, but rather lean into it as it becomes your new way, your new norm… your new story.
Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10