There's a light at the end of the tunnel
Often I write about the angst of parenting and how it wears me out and how I cling to God for strength. True story because that is actually what I do most often. But tonight is different. I came into the kitchen after dropping my boys off at football practice. It was a beautiful evening and I longed to stay and watch them and bask in the sunshine but my girls were at home and dinner needed to be made and I felt I should be there to "hold down the fort". I cooked and sat down with my girls. It's rare that it is just the three of us. The youngest described the day's middle school drama that took place in the lunch room. She is social and sensitive, (such a deadly combo that I know so well.) I offered advice that I have offered countless times and it seemed to only scratch the surface. But then something wonderful happened. As my oldest daughter gracefully moved about the kitchen cleaning up from dinner, she offered the perfect advice. It poured out from deep tender parts of her that I know are there but rarely see. She recounted not so fun times in middle school, times when she felt abandoned and hurt and judged, (middle school was not fun for her.) and how it made her feel, and how she never wants anyone to feel that way. She cautioned her little sister not to judge, or snub, or discard anyone but to always be inclusive and kind. "It's like Mom always says, "Be neutral to nice but never negative. It's ok to do that and keep boundaries and be true to yourself. It just takes maturity, which most people don't have at our age." The way she moved about the kitchen, her mannerisms and her voice inflection reminded me of myself,( except taller and with better legs, you know, the way God intended it to be!) She told us of a friend that she made at lunch because "you should always scan the room for someone who may be lonely and ask them to join you." The conversation continued until the men folk burst on the scene and the moment was gone.
Y'all, my heart grew 3 sizes tonight. To raise kind hearted loving children who love each other and God, is my goal in life. We are not perfect by any means, (in fact I told my daughter I was going to write about her so not to screw up for a while! ) but tonight was a good night. My daughter, about to be sweet 16, has come into her own. She is comfortable in her own skin,in her own body, with her personality. And she is kind and wise beyond her years. There were some dark seasons, some pain and tears and she had to learn a lot the hard way, but these tough times make us who we are today, and to see the reward pay off in my sweet tall beauty gives me great hope for the younger teen going through it now and the little men I am struggling to raise. I have been in need of encouragement lately and have even asked God for a sign or a leg up or a light at the end of the .... tunnel. Friends keep fighting the good fight and stay in the ring! Get back on that bull no matter how many times it throws you. Be strong and courageous and encouraged. Have hard conversations even if you think they are not listening because oh, how they are listening. Your voice will soon play like a memorized song over and over as the sound track for their life. Water, weed, prune, and watch as the tree that is your life's work bears fruit for you to sit back and enjoy. This is why I cling to Jesus on a daily basis and ask him to give me more, make me more, help me more. For the sweet fruitful moments like tonight.Thank you God!