When you feel like you suck at everything.
A few weeks ago I attempted a chalk paint project. You know, I was going to refurbish an old ugly hutch and make it beautiful with the trendy "chalk paint" technique. I even watched a tutorial and asked a few friends for pointers. Well, wouldn’t you know it, weeks later I am out three cans of very thick and expensive paint and I think I still have some weird sticky wax stuff in my eyebrows and arm hair.
The now even uglier hutch sits in my garage and mocks me every morning. It says, "Hey girl, come on... just one more coat oughta do it!"
“No, Hutch! We are through!"
I'm just not good at stuff. I have friends who are good at stuff, my husband is REALLY good at stuff, but me, sometimes my life feels like one big Pinterest fail. I am in awe of friends who can sing and dance and cook or decorate cakes or homes or paint. Me, I just feel ordinary. And at times I grasp for some sort of cool factor. As if my ordinary mundane life would feel better if I did cool stuff like chalk paint projects.
Sometimes It seems I fail at even the basics Perhaps your list looks like mine. There are days I feel like no one listens to me around here and my efforts go unnoticed. Try as I might, I can’t lose a pound. Or worse yet, I gain one. I often ruin/forget about dinner. My kids run amuck.... (Actually they are very very good but like the nursery rhyme... when they are bad they are horrid.)And there are never ever... ever... any socks! Ever! And I can't paint. I have no cool factor. I am good at nothing. AND BASICALLY...I suck at everything! At this point, I lose hope and direction and drive and then I binge watch The Bachelor while eating ice cream because well, at least I am good at that. My pity party is thrown often but does not last long. Like a sad little happy hour, it comes to an end because there is a small voice inside me that knows the truth and pulls me up and out to a place of perspective and prayer.
“God, I suck at everything, I always have and I always will.”
(I feel him looking at me like I would look at my child if they said that. Glasses down, nose down, eyebrows up as if to say,)
“Now we know that is not true dear. I made you good with words. Written and spoken You have a heart that runs fast after me You are a great mom and you are a great friend. I love you just the way you are.”
“I know this, but I trip and fall.”
“That does not mean you suck. It means you are human and my power is perfected in human weakness. I can use a girl like you; human, desperate, hungry, and willing. Lean on me, listen to me, Follow me.”
Spending time alone with God gives me perspective and strips away the lie that I am a Pinterest fail. Do you ever feel this way? Do you throw sad happy hour like me? If you do, consider a few things.
How are you measuring your success? Is it by fame or fortune or worldly approval? Perhaps by the presence of a cool factor? Or do you measure it by your obedience to the call of God and the task at hand despite the results you see here on Earth?
See yourself the way God sees you.
Love yourself because of what He sees.
Perhaps you are taking your gifts for granted while you compare yourself to someone else.
Perhaps your gifts aren’t "fancy".
Figure out where your strengths are and "stay in your lane".
Life is not always easy and you are going to fail.
Don't let temporary failure define you.
Get up and try again.
This down here is a faith walk.
We are responsible for what we do with the gifts and talents God gives us. (Whether you wanted a different one or not!)
God created you and gifted you and loves you just the way you are.
YOU DO NOT SUCK AT EVERYTHING!
HUTCH UPDATE:Last night my husband could be seen in the garage sanding and giving my hutch one last coat of paint. Because well, he is really good at stuff. And I am not. And that is ok.