The Game of Life
Has anyone ever played The Game Of Life? Do you know the board game where you stop at the major decision points of life as you move around the board? My family used to play it all the time, way back in the 70s and 80s. My brother and I would giggle late at night and make my mom and dad laugh by putting two blue men in the car with lots of kids or two pink women driving around with way too many kids in the back and laughing until we cried! We thought we were so funny, but now I’m sure that's politically incorrect!
Now, as an adult, I am forced to play the real game of life and stop at every major station; cars, college, careers, kids, houses, then on to retirement, right? Would that it were that easy? I think I should create a game called Emotional Life, or the game of STRESS!! It might be more realistic but not so fun to play with the fam...
Speaking of games, I spent another lovely weekend in Houston for a volleyball tournament. I enjoy watching my daughter play the game she loves and seeing her use her God-given talents and physical abilities on the court. It makes me grateful for the man I married and the athletic ability he has passed down to our children. I remember when I played softball growing up, my Dad would coach, and my mom would come cheer. Even though my Dad and I would get mad at each other, we always worked it out on the way home, and after that, we were just a family again. No pressure, no criticism, no nothing! My mom never made a peep other than appropriate applause for good plays.
But there were some families that lived for softball, or for their daughter’s success, with private lessons, a special sleeve to keep the pitching arm warm, and lots and lots of pressure and yelling and screaming. Even back then, I found it odd that parents would get so upset about a game.
I went on to marry a college athlete who became a professional athlete, and we are raising quite the brood of competitive athletes ourselves these days. I think it is just in their blood. So I understand and appreciate their drive and ambition. But in this game called "life," I am determined to keep all of us grounded, to have snacks and a towel, dinner and a cookie, a smile and a pat on the back. Then tomorrow, we move on. I have helped my husband and daughter self-assess and hired trainers and coaches. ( I will even admit that early on with the kiddos, I "showed my crazy" a little when I felt my child was overlooked or wronged but quickly gained perspective and reeled it in. We are all allowed one or two mistakes, ya know!!!)
These days, I think this is just a sport, a hobby if you will, and nothing more. For my husband, it became a profession, but even then, it never defined who he was, and certainly, as children and teenagers, it should not be what defines them. But sadly, I have seen parents who yell and belittle or are anxiety-ridden over their child's performance. They manipulate while their children cry and pout. If I cried or pouted because my dad played someone else, I was benched before I knew what hit me.
My own father would throw me out of a game for throwing my mitt or kicking dirt. These days it seems like parents are throwing fits and showing their children that it is ok to yell, slander, pout, and manipulate. These same parents turn on other children and other parents. It is jaw-dropping to me. I want to say, "Stop…. hide your crazy!! Sit down, it is a sport, a game, a hobby!!! Be excited that your family has the health and the wealth to be part of this sport. Cheer on your child and others, be excited for those playing, and be compassionate for those on the bench.
Tomorrow it will be the other way around, and you will want people on your side too." I'm not gonna get overly upset about a loss or glory for too long over a win. I will, however, get excited when my kids exceed in the game of life. When they are kind and tell the truth when they display respect to me and others…. when they comfort someone hurting, help the less fortunate.
I will yell and scream at sin and injustice in the world and stand up for morality and righteousness.
These things deserve my attention and energy. Today in Houston, I stood in line at the Starbucks kiosk for what seemed like a year with all the other parents in need of some caffeine. One little energetic boy knocked over a small display and just left it. Then the little boy in front of me (8 maybe) looked at it, looked around, picked it up, and straightened all the snacks back to how they were. No one watching, and no one asked him to. My daughter and I looked at each other in awe, almost tearing up a bit.
I thought, "That deserves to be cheered for! That deserves my applause. way more than the fact that you can hit a ball over a net or throw it through a hoop." I felt like yelling, "That's what I'm talking about!!!!! Yeah, baby!!!!! Right There!!!! You nailed it!!!!!!!
I love to watch my family succeed on the court/ field. LOVE IT!!!!!!! But I am much more proud and concerned about how they perform in the game of life than on the court. More concerned about who they are than what they can do because I know firsthand (ok, second hand) that athletic ability and its fame are short-lived. So fun, cool, and commendable, but short-lived.
Some day we will sit around the table with adult children and reminisce about games, teams, coaches, and friends we made along the way. They will be memories, and I want them to be good ones. My goal in life is to raise kind-hearted, God-fearing children to be well-adjusted, loving, productive adults.
This is a long-term effect of my purposefully thought-out plan. I am not living for today or technically even tomorrow but for more of a big picture. My eyes are not fixed on today or tomorrow but on eternity…. cultivating and growing things like character, kindness, and compassion, things that last. Not the victory or loss of a one-time sporting event that no one will ever remember.
So as your little car full of pink and blue people moves around the board of life. Think about what stops are important and how you behave at each one, and the message you are sending your children. Reward the right things and cheer for what’s important! And above all else, Love one another fiercely!
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13 4-8