A Mother's Nest
Lately, I've been staying up late worrying about my family. The other night I literally watched a family member sleep. It's not the first time I gave up my night for a loved one. When our children were infants we put the bassinet in the room with us so we could hear their every breath. As they grew we put them in bed with us when they got sick or scared and now that some of them are too big (or even grown) we stand watch praying through the night.
When my youngest daughter was very ill we took turns sleeping with her, or near her, praying and easing her pain and when her heart was broken we did the same. The bible says the enemy comes to kill, steal, and destroy... "Not on my watch he won't!" I think all good mamas willingly choose to lose sleep over their children. It's just what we do.
As I sat up praying through the night, my thoughts turned toward my own mom and I wondered how she did it all. My brother and I were wild and rebellious and certainly gave her plenty to lose sleep over. I thought about how no matter what was going on in our world; our home was a safe and soft place to be. It was like our own little nest. My mom has the ability to make all things beautiful, inviting, warm, safe, and secure.
I often hear the term “nesting” in reference to pregnant women bustling around making sure everything is just right for “baby-to-be”. They are in a preparation mode of sorts, settling for nothing but the best for the new arrival. Nesting seems to come naturally for an expectant mother. I tend to nest every time we move, planning the perfect place for my furniture and meticulously picking out colors for everyone’s rooms. We just want everything to be perfect for our families don’t we? That probably explains all the sleepless nights too!
"Please God, let everything go perfectly for them."
My mom’s nesting has always been deep and purposeful. In her home, there was no judgment, criticism, or selfish ambition. There were kind words, forgiveness and grace, and yielding to others. (There was also good food! Every time I eat a nectarine, or chocolate pudding I am transported to my mom’s kitchen.) Her home was where our bodies, souls, and minds could rest. A mother’s nest should be just that; an incubator for the soul, a hothouse for the heart, and the very place where God’s intricate creations can delicately grow and eventually flourish. I lived this growing up and as I get older I find it to be one of (if not thee) most important aspects of parenting.
Building a nest for your family. Where nurture, grace, forgiveness, compassion, and understanding abound in large amounts.Guidance and wisdom and love. Life is hard, cruel, and unfair at times. We need not be. My mom never was. We rebelled and we strayed and we tested our wings, and we returned. (It was messy I’m not going to lie.) But she loved us through it all and in return, we love her fiercely. We are a loyal little flock. It was the nest she built. It was warm and safe and soft. She is warm and safe and soft. I want to be too.
I have my own nest now. It’s different, I am different, and my kids are different. But I am purposeful. I see my daughter grow strong in the face of adversity when I strengthen her with kind, truthful, empowering words instead of a lecture. When my son’s anger gets the best of him, I see a calmness come over him when I offer understanding and compassion, and grace, instead of letting my own anger rise up. When my husband is weary and burdened. I offer him a soft place to come home to and a friend to share the heavy load instead of bitterness and resentment. We have good food and laughter, lots and lots of laughter.
I am by no means a perfect mom. My mom is not even a perfect mom. But when she erred, it was on the side of love.“ Please God, let that be said of me!” My family is still young and there are many sleepless and prayerful nights ahead of me and I‘m sure some of them will be spent fretting over how to build the perfect nest for my family and protect them from the world.
I know I will make mistakes and perhaps have some regrets but what I know I will never regret is following my mom’s sweet and loving example. When I err, I will err on the side of love. Loving them instead of, in lieu of and in spite of. Unconditionally and intentionally.In this nest.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7