When I was a teenager, my brother’s best friend lived with us for a while. I believe his family moved away and he was finishing High school. He was our kind, sweet, comical friend who we love to this day. He nick named us, “The Loud Family”. That always struck me funny because I don’t recall feeling necessarily loud at all. We were typical, mom, dad, older brother and me. but when I look back I guess I can see it. When we are all together we talk all at the same time; no one stops until he is the one left talking. We disagree and debate and laugh really loud and challenge each others view points.( except not my mom. She is the eternal peace maker) It is one of my favorite things about my family.
FLASH FORWARD TO PRESENT!!
My family now consists of Me, my husband Chad, Bekah 10, Sam 8, Adam 4 and David 3, and we give new meaning to the title “The Loud Family”. We are a much larger family than the one I grew up in, and I have a much larger home than the one I grew up in so one would think that the noise level would be dispersed, but no, I think it just echoes! There is so much noise in my house from 6:15 am until 9:00pm. We are just so loud! We talk loud, yell loud, laugh loud and cry LOUD! We argue loud, sing loud and play instruments loud. David has even mastered the art of a “loud whisper!” Refrigerators open loud, doors slam loud, and little boys pretend to be cars, lions, super-heros,cowboys, and horses, all very loud! And my least favorite thing? Tinker toys that “accidentally” drop over the railing onto the hardwood floors. Tink, tink tinktinktink. Loud!
I often wonder if the noise level in my house is normal. I feel that I “shoosh” way too much. I am always shooshing. Sometimes though my heart is heavy because I shoosh laughter and singing and enthusiasm. I shoosh my children who constantly say, ” Mom, ya know what?” in a sing-songy tone, because I am exhausted and exasperated. There are of course things that need to be delt with in my children. They need to have manors, they need to be polite and respectful and obey the rules. The required use of inside voices in not unrealistic and asking them to talk to me one at a time isn’t either. But I don’t want to be exasperated to the point where my nerves are frazzled and then EVERY noise drives me crazy. When I hit this point, where my “flesh” cries out and I am upset at everyone, I know that I am no good to anyone and it is time to go to God and change my attitude.
When I sit before the Lord I am reminded of a few scriptures that help me fight my irritability. The more time I spend in the presence of God, The sooner I feel the harshness soften and frazzled nerves calmed and He gives me peace.
Mathew 11:28 “Come to me all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart. and you shall find rest for your soul. For my yoke is easy and my load is light.
Psalm 127:3-5 Behold, Children are a gift of the Lord. The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior so are the children of ones youth. How BLESSED is the man whose quiver is full of them.
Ps 100:1 Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness, come before him with joyful singing.
Proverbs 17:22 A joyful heart is good medicine.
Mathew 19:14 Jesus said. Let the little children come to me, do not hinder them from coming for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.
I always wanted a big family and I LOVE my big family. (some day I will blog about the big family that almost was not and how wonderful God has been to me.) I dream of the days when everyone is grown and coming home for a holiday and the door bell keeps ringing, (noise) and people keep coming in, (doors slamming) and cheering and laughing, (loudly of course) reminiscing and debating (another word for arguing). Something out of a hall mark movie! The girls with their husbands and the boys with their wives, some grandkids maybe (crying), gathering in the kitchen to cook (pots clanging) and talk and sit and laugh (loudly again!)
How can I expect to cultivate something that I am currently discouraging?
In Ted Tripps book, Shepherding A Childs Heart, he speaks of the irony of child rearing. He writes,
When children are little, we often fail to engage them in significant conversation. When they try to engage us, we respond with uninterested “uhHuh’s”. Eventually they learn the ropes. They realize that we are not interested in what goes on in them. They learn that a “good talk” for us is a “good listen” for them. When they become teens, the tables turn. Parents wish they could engage their teens but the teens have long since stopped trying.
I read this book for the first time 6 or 7 years ago and have read it many times since and this passage always stands out to me.
May it never be for me Lord!
God’s word says in Proverbs 14:1 The wise woman builds her house but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.
I know that most of the time what I need is just a little break and some perspective. Of course I can’t let my children run amuck yelling all the time. But I want to learn to embrace my loud family, because out of them flows life. God is all over these children and they are light and salt to a perishing world. I want to learn to cherish the abundant life that God has giving me that is going on right here in my kitchen amidst the slamming doors and tinker toys.