I Don't Know How You Do It.
"I don't know how you do it."I used to get offended when people would say this to me. I felt like they were saying, "I don't know WHY in the world you CHOOSEto do this!"This four kids, lots of activity, busy hard working hubby, "trying to pull it all off thing." As moms we get up before the kids, pray, feed them healthy, clean the house, "hunt and gather" and cook and drive and pick up kiddos and break up fights and instill values and morals and model kindness, and take them to doctors appointments, sing songs, read books, bake cookies, teach sports, bike riding, roller skating, manners, domestic skills and chivalry, purity, modesty and self control, self government, money management and time management, plan birthday parties and holidays and and and and....Well, I guess I could let all the spinning plates crash down around me, sit on the floor, eat cold spaghettios and cry, (which I have done before sans the canned pasta) but the problem with that is when I get up and dry my tears, the kids and the laundry and the dishes and the chaos are all still there and I have wasted the day. So I get up, count my blessings and get to work... spinning plates and spinnin' them good!Recently I did the unthinkable! I used the phrase on a friend!I said, "I don't know how you do it."She burst into tears and so did I. Then it dawned on me that the phrase is not an insensitive insult but rather concerned amazement at a friend seemingly carrying too much weight on her shoulders.What my heart wanted to say is this:"you are doing better than I could under really hard circumstances and I am amazed at your strength."It got me thinking about how we moms feel alone and overwhelmed at times and that thankfully others are sensing that we are not meant to bear such burdens, or spin so many plates alone. Some much heavier and more complicated that just the basics listed above.Sometimes Ianswer this question in a very self deprecating manner with statements like, "Oh, we are hanging by a thread in here!" OR "Don't be fooled it is all smoke and mirrors." My true honest answer is and should be this. "It is the grace of God that sustains me daily and when I take my eyes off of Him, all my plates come crashing down around me." Being a busy plate spinning mama can be lonely and hard. I have learned that I desperately need God and that I really really need the comfort and support of others. We need God!There are probably some plates I should let crash ( or not have picked up in the first place ) and when I stay close to God He is faithful to order my steps and show me how much I can really take on. He is my help in times of trouble and anxiety. And he is able to accomplish the things that concern me. HOORAY!!!!We need each others!My fellow strong and amazing moms are like good medicine to my heart and a mirror to my soul. It is such comfort to know I am not alone and have someone there to pick me up when I trip and fall. They get me, they love me, and challenge me to do what's right and be a better version of myself.Years ago at a Christian Athletic Conference a pastor gave a beautiful message on how we need both in our lives. He called my husband ( who was a large football player at the time) up on stage and showed us how he could "easily" find a way around him as he stood alone. Then he called another team mate up and had them link arms... not as easy but still possible to find a way around. Then he added a third teammate and had them link arms tightly and he was of course out numbered and unable to break the "triple-braided cord". I will never forget the visual and pray that we all find and experience such strength in God and our relationships as we spin our plates. Maybe then, with a little more inner strength and resolve we can smile confidently at each other when someone does the unspeakable and says..I don't know how you do it" ;-)
Ecclesiastes 4:12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.